What are you in control of?

Maybe you should focus on that!

I just turned 30 about a month ago and one thing I have noticed over the last decade is that the responsibilities just keep on stacking up! Between a growing family and a desire to develop a career, the number of things that I have to do and am involved in seems to be multiplying every year! Anyone else feel this way?

As responsibilities and involvement grow by nature we are exposed to more and more things that are out of our control. Traffic making you late to that important work dinner, the birth of a beautiful baby making sleep impossible, a storm knocking a tree branch through the window of your car. It’s easy to feel like not much is in our control and the more out of control we feel the more likely we are to be stressed, anxious, and unproductive. Not an ideal way to life a life if you ask me.

A couple of my favorite stoic philosophers had a lot to say about control:

“We must concern ourselves absolutely with the things that are under our control and entrust the things not in our control to the universe.” - Masonius Rufus

"The chief task in life is simply this: to identify and separate matters so that I can say clearly to myself which are externals not under my control, and which have to do with the choices I actually control. Where then do I look for good and evil? Not to uncontrollable externals, but within myself to the choices that are my own…" – Epictetus

I think words like these are best interpreted by each individual so I won’t tell you what they should mean to you but I will share what they mean to me (I mean it is my newsletter ;) ).

I feel that one of the few things we have control of in our lives is our health. Which I know to many, may sound a bit crazy. What about genetics? What about my stressful life? What about my financial situation that makes it harder for me to have access to things that promote better health?

I hear all of that and I agree. Being healthy is hard and not everyone starts from the same starting line but I think if you really take a look at it, you may realize that you do have more control than you think.

Ultimately, you make the decision of what food gets put in your mouth. You decide whether or not to take the stairs instead of the escalator at the airport. You can set your alarm a little early so you can get up and get some exercise in. Even if only for 15 minutes. And you can cut a night out with friends a couple of drinks short to make waking up for it easier. These are big actions that can have a profound impact on our lives.

All of these things are in our control. We can’t control what is going on in the media, our boss’s moody attitude, our child getting sick, or that car rear-ending us in traffic. But we do control what we put in our mouth, how we move our bodies, and if we work at it enough, what we think with our brains.

I think if you embrace the control you have in this incredibly important domain of your life, you may find that this is all you need to take the reigns of your life back and get the things you want AND feel good doing it. Focus on what you can control.

Thanks for reading,

Chris Irvin

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